Challenge Post 1: A Book Review (kinda)
I’m sure you’re all familiar with a well-known Irish author called Marian Keyes and if you’re not, you should be. She’s written dozens of books and I’ve read them all. Typically I like to read sci-fi (ish) books and her writing wouldn’t fall into this category at all. Mostly, I like to read fiction (which her books are) and typically stories about things that couldn’t happen in real life (there’s enough real life in real life, am I right?). Although Marian’s books wouldn’t fall into this category at all, I adore her style of writing. In my opinion, an author who can make you laugh out loud and sob your heart out on the same page, let alone in the same book is an absolute genius at what they do. I’ve yet to come across a Marian Keyes book where this failed to happen. Her comic timing and sense of humour are second to none. In her latest book – The Mystery of Mercy Close – she coins the phrase ‘The Shovel List’ which simply is a list of people, things, characteristics etc., that make you want to hit them in the face with a shovel. For me, this was comedy gold and I spent weeks after reading the book hastily adding things to my ‘Shovel List’. As anyone who knows me knows, I’m slightly fond, okay maybe obsessed, with making lists. Any kind of lists. So naturally I decided this blog was a perfect place to share my very own ‘Shovel list’. So here goes (in no particular order, as it changes from day to day):
- Men who find it appropriate to ask me what the offside rule is when they learn I like football, even though they would never ask another man the same question.
- People who have seen the way I drink tea a million times saying “sure that’s milky water, not tea”.
- Wagon wheels (the edible kind. I got them going to school everyday for a million years) Everything about the stupid reality TV show ‘The Only Way is Essex’
- People who say I need to ‘just’ relax when I’m stressing out. Oh I forgot it was so easy, sure why didn’t I think of that.
- Getting Diet Pepsi when you ask for Diet Coke
- Pointy toe shoes on men
- People who don’t indicate on roundabouts
- Skinny people who give out about being fat
- Cryptic Facebook statuses, such as, “just so happy today” and then when people comment asking why, the answer is always “I’ll private message you”Just don’t post this status if it’s some kind of secret.
- All of the deductions from my pay packet – universal service charge, pension related deductions, spouse & children deductions. I don’t even have a husband or a child?
- People who tell you every time they see you that you’ve lost LOOOOADS of weight. No I haven’t. Jesus I must have been the size of a house when you first met me.
- People who don’t keep their dog on a lead. The law states that you have to, so when your dog comes running up to mine at full speed & my dogs snap a warning of ‘go away’, don’t expect to complain to me.
- Extremely bold children being extremely bold while their parents look on & do NOTHING
- People who speak really loudly on the phone whilst using public transport.
- Actually…public transport itself, for many reasons. People touching off you, the waiting and wondering if it will arrive on time, people eating…don’t they know about all the germs? Ahhh!
- Construction work on your day off…at ridiculous o clock in the morning.
- People who ask you a question & then reword your answer into another question. For example…”what time is it?” “3 o clock” “it’s not 3 o clock is it?”
- People who say “you’d love it” about food to people they hardly know.
- People who say they don’t like something they’ve never tasted.
- Pat Kenny
- People working in supermarkets who put your change down instead of putting it into your open, stretched out hand. Just plain rude.
- The Irish government
Feel free to add to it. I’m sure I will.
For more information on Marian Keyes and her books, check out: http://www.mariankeyes.com/Home